THE CASE FOR SEXUAL SANITY / by Yori Yanover

A while ago I wrote here that the politization of sexuality in our  culture is chipping away at our intimacy, our ability to publicly display affection, and the healthy eroticism which is such a crucial component of our psyches. I pointed a finger at several groups which are in the business of turning the personal into the political, churning out slogans to curb serious, deep discussion. As a result I was called a homophobe by our local weekly paper here, in downtown Manhattan.

That the name calling is ridiculous goes without saying. I'm on the record as supporting gay marriage and gay adoptions. The choice of our Villager to name-call me based on an anonymous email attests to their quality as a news organization. But the insanity which drove this bizarre attack is in the culture, and we must be aware of the harm it's causing.

The compulsion to define a man as "moderate" or "extremist," "right" or "left," etc. is born by a society too impatient to actually find out what one may think about any given subject. Reporters are the worst offenders. The reporter who interviewed me for the Villager actually thought she did a balanced job. And you know something? Compared to some other jobs I've experienced this was pretty balanced.

Provided, of course, that you have the attention span of a ten year old and the capacity for depth of a fly hitting a moving windshield.

Incidentally, the reason I support gay marriage has nothing to do with what I feel about homosexual behavior. My Jewish tradition has taught me that there's no such thing as a homosexual person, only homosexual acts. All of us experience the full range of erotic feelings throughout our lives; our sexuality is a continuum, not a yes-no quiz.

My Jewish tradition also teaches me that there are some homosexual behaviors which are forbidden, some which are questionable and some which are no problem at all. In my own life I live under those rules. I don't make it a habit to judge other people's sexual preferences.

But there are two connected areas where I support wholeheartedly the "gay agenda:" When it comes to leading a monogamous life and adopting children.

Perhaps the only area where the general culture has been universally critical of the homosexual lifestyle, is the sense of perpetual adolescence stereotypical gay culture is projecting; self-involved, rife with body image anxiety.

Never mind that these are just cartoon stereotypes, but here come gay people who want to live in sane, caring, long-lasting relationships, pay taxes together, take out health insurance together, sign for each other’s medical treatment in an emergency, all the normal, needed and productive things married couples take for granted—and those things the culture wants to deny them? Are we crazy?

Next, when a gay couple or individual wants to shoulder the burden of bringing up the next generation, embrace unwanted children, turn tragedy into optimism—we're going to prevent them? Are we so rich with parental resources that we can discard responsible grownups wishing to shoulder the load?

It's difficult to pack this information into a phone interview, especially when you've just been sucker punched by some anonymous enemy. But I did. And a lot of good it did me…

Oh, the hell with it, life's too short. Today the bear ate you, tomorrow you eat the bear.